A Sophomore Misophonic’s Guide to Surviving Your University

"Find your quiet space." College With Misophonia

Against all odds, you’ve made it through the activating hell that was high school. (Even if you had to tap out and graduate separately; good for you for taking action to support your own well-being.) You’re incredibly tough for even making it this far, and looking back at my own experience, I’m so impressed that most people with misophonia are able to make it through school at all. We’re a resilient bunch of people battling this disorder every day. 

And despite the misery that is the K-12 sensory experience, many of us keep studying so that one day, we can earn that beloved office with a door that shuts. During my time at college thus far, I’ve developed some coping mechanisms that help me survive each day, and hopefully by sharing what works for me, you may find some methods that make your 4+ years of post-secondary school easier for you.

Find your quiet space.

Forget New York City—college campuses are the places that never sleep. Even on a small campus like mine, anywhere you go, at any time of day, you will find people. And as many of us with misophonia tend to be misanthropic due to our activators, the mere presence of people can be an added struggle; thus, one of the most important pieces of the university misophonic’s toolset is a designated quiet space. 

At the end of a long day of surviving the many activators that live rent-free in lecture halls, a student with misophonia may want nothing more than to return to their room. But surprise: their roommate is lounging there, too, snacks in hand—and mouth. Unfortunately, many colleges still haven’t shifted to suite-style dorm rooms where each student has their own small room that breaks off into a common space shared with multiple roommates. And if they do, they tend to be more expensive and to fill up more quickly. (Take note, universities: that’s a sign that they’re in demand. Build more.) 

So, unless you’re one of the blessed few students whose university accommodates them with a single room, you may end up with a living, breathing human being within ten feet of you at all times. And if so, you need to find another place where you can reset and escape, even if that means practically living in one of the library’s study halls. The less time spent around your roommate, the better, as the formation of new activators can ruin your sleep—and the rest of your year.

But if you must study in your dorm room, invest in a white noise machine and a solid set of earbuds if you don’t depend on them already. Consider them a necessary school expense.

Advocate for yourself!

After years of being told that misophonia is all in your head and that you should feel like a monster for not simply ignoring the sounds, it can be difficult for people with misophonia to advocate for themselves. But misophonia is a disability, and by telling your university’s disability services department about your disorder, they may be able to provide you with some reasonable accommodations with a well-worded letter, though they may also require official documentation from a therapist or audiologist. 

The next step would be to talk to your professors. The worst they can do is tell you no, and then you’re right back where you started anyway. 

And if you’re feeling particularly brave, it helps to subtly slide one of soQuiet’s cards over to the person making the activator. If they’re kind and accepting, maybe buy them a drink as a thank you (even if you don’t drink with them); these are the kinds of people you want as your friends.

Put your mental health first.

When going to class in the first place, keep in mind that college is more flexible than K-12: you don’t have to attend lectures back-to-back—and you shouldn’t! If you can, give yourself gaps between classes so you’re able to recover and face the next one. And if lecture halls are particularly draining for you, know when going to class is optional. More coursework can be done online than ever before, so if you know you won’t gain anything from being in-person and the professor doesn’t grade on participation, give yourself the me-time you deserve.

Take care of yourself!

Misophonia can be so much worse when you’re in a bad mood. So, it’s even more essential that we misophonics get enough quality sleep, eat right, and manage our stress. Everyone has different needs on this front; just remember to respect yours.

Exercise does help.

While like many people, I’m not a fan of rigorous cardio, I’ve found that consistent, low-impact exercise makes a world of difference in regard to stress. Find a way to move your body that you won’t give up on after a few weeks. For me, that means yoga and long, leisurely walks. Exercise has become the highlight of my day: yoga reminds me of all the good my body does for me, and my walks give me some much needed time outdoors where I can be alone with an audiobook. So when you feel like your laptop is burning your eyes, trust me: try a little exercise.

Caffeine is a conundrum.

Coping with activators is exhausting; an hour-long lecture can feel like an eternity for someone with misophonia. And yet, college students are obligated to stay busy. As an adult, it’s almost impossible to function for a full day without some sort of stimulant. To push through that fatigue and get that degree, a misophonic may benefit from a Starbucks dependency.

However, caffeine use can compound this lack of energy; caffeine makes its users more active and alert—both to their work and, unfortunately, to their activators. That’s right: caffeine can make misophonia worse because it makes your brain more effective at picking out and reacting to the threatening sounds.

So while reaching for that fourth cup of French roast may be tempting, when it comes to misophonia, more energy isn’t necessarily a good thing. I’m not trying to demonize coffee; I succumb to the bitter bean more than most, and I recognize the benefits of an occasional cuppa. But at the end of the day, good ol’ Joe won’t solve your problems with energy. Before depending on caffeine and risking its chemical-induced jitters and anxiety, take a step away from el café and reevaluate whether you can make your college schedule more misophonia-friendly.

Keep things fresh!

When every minute in a classroom seems like an eternity, going through the motions each day can be awfully depressing. You start to expect where your activators are coming from. Fortunately, each semester is a new start. But I try to change things up on a daily basis by changing where I sit in each class and where I study each evening. Making each day a little more memorable keeps your college experience exciting, making each activating situation a fresh challenge instead of just another difficult day.

College can be extra exhausting when you have misophonia. But when it all starts to become overwhelming, take a step back and ask yourself: what am I working for? Journal about it, and evaluate if your efforts are worth what you want out of the experience, whether that be a job or simply knowing more about a topic that interests you. And if you decide that you want to keep at it, know that you’ve made it through hard times before.

You’re a strong misophone, and college has got nothing on you.