Misophonia Can Complicate Families in Complex Ways
“Individuals with misophonia typically associate their primary activating sounds and visuals with a specific person or people. “
Misophonia is a disorder in which specific sounds, as well as visuals, cause sympathetic nervous system arousal (the fight-or-flight response). Ones nervous system reacts within milliseconds, outside of conscious awareness. An individual with misophonia feels overwhelmed by certain outside stimuli. Misophonic reactivity to sounds and visuals can vary in severity and includes a mix of emotional, physical, and cognitive aspects.
The dynamic facets of misophonia are quite complicated. While there are similarities between adults and children who experience misophonia, there are always varied nuances within their lives, especially within their relationships with others. Parent-child relationship dynamics are, of course, different than spousal relationships, friendships, or workplace relationships. At the heart of developing effective coping skills around misophonia is empathy for both the person with misophonia and their loved ones.
If you are a parent of a child with misophonia, or perhaps struggle with misophonia yourself, it is important to consider why and how there are stresses in relational dynamics. It's not enough to just know that those stresses are there. Looking closer at those relationships from differing perspectives can be helpful to everyone who is involved.
An individual with misophonia will often feel overwhelmed by the pervasive auditory and visual stimuli that are created by people they are closest to. Family members and partners of people who struggle with misophonia can often feel victimized, too, by the misophonic individual’s sudden, unpredictable words or actions.
If you have misophonia, it helps to acknowledge that the feelings your loved ones experience are valid and are also of concern. It’s also important to recognize how difficult it is for you, the one with misophonia, to cope in a world where normal sounds and sights seem to continually attack you.
Individuals with misophonia typically associate their primary activating sounds and visuals with a specific person or people. It’s common to hear, or say, statements such as, “My father is my biggest trigger,” or, “My wife triggers me the most.”
At present, science has not pinned down exactly why this is the case, why certain people seem to be more activating than others. It’s clear that many things—source, context, mood,etc.—contribute to the onset and severity of a misophonic reaction.
Triggering sounds and visuals are not exclusive to sounds made by people, though that is a common source. Nor are they exclusive to “mouth sounds.” Sounds such as water dripping, clocks ticking, pen clicking, computer keyboards and mice, beeping devices, and sometimes even pets are among the various non-human sources that individuals with misophonia might describe as activating their misophonia.
It is reasonable to understand that the more a person with misophonia relies on associating people with misophonia triggers, the more solidified that negative thinking pattern can become. Though changing that narrative may not, on its own, change the subconscious associations between triggering sounds or visuals and the people who create them, it’s important to work on removing the personal blame from the existence of those sounds or sights. That means, changing the conscious associations can help to remove the negative dynamic that often results from this pairing.
Image:
Saÿen, H. Lyman. Artist’s Daughter. ca. 1916. Smithsonian American Art Museum. Public domain.